She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
