Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
