god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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