He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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