We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
