well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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