All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You can't just leave with hair like that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
