The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
