Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
