We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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