we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
