did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
