the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
