Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't make out with my wife yet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
