I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So many bounce houses so little time
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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