If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
