um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
