Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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