yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
