You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
