So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he fucked my hip out of place.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
