420 ftw
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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