Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
