i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
