My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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