names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
