i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
