KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
