With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
