I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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