pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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