I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
