you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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