i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
