Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
