I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
