I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
