I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
