Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
