i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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