I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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