think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he puts the penis in happiness.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
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