Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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