i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
