haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
