Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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