...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
