i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
