i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Shame - the story of my life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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