Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
