She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
