How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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