Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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