I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
