I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
