is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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