I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
