So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
