I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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