When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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