like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
